


The heart is a muscle

by Catmandont



Series: Sometimes home has a heartbeat [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 05:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catmandont/pseuds/Catmandont
Summary: Basically, Yaz is as in love with the Doctor as we are all with Jodie. Fluff.“I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again.”





	The heart is a muscle

**Author's Note:**

> Title and idea taken from the song “The heart is a muscle” by Gang of Youths. If you haven’t heard it, I urge you to listen to it, it’s a really beautiful song.

Yaz loved to watch the Doctor. Not in a creepy following someone around without their knowledge and observing everything they did sort of way, but in a, I love this endearing alien so much I can get enough of looking at her sort of way. 

In her fun moments, in her quiet moments, in her “I’m the Doctor and I’m the boss moments” the woman was always beautiful, always kind and always trying to see the bright side of things. 

Some days Yaz would watch as the Time Lord ran manically around the the TARDIS console, chastising the machine for taking them to the wrong place and swearing to never trust her again. Other times the Doctor could be found talking softly to the console, stroking different handles, telling the TARDIS how brilliant she was, and how lucky she was to have her. 

Yaz loved how no matter who was talking, or what they were saying, the Doctor listened, really listened. Especially when she spoke to children, she was patient, her face would become so open and she would hang on every word they said, like they were the most important thing in the Universe, no matter who they were. The Doctor was so good with children, on some level Yaz knew it was because the Doctor was a big kid herself, she’d been alive for Millenia but had the childlike wonder of a five year old. Mostly Yaz knew that the Doctor was so good with young people because she cared so much, her heart was so open and her kindness was just sort of spilling out all the time. The brunette had once watched her girlfriend walk around for three straight hours with a little girl on her back, looking for the little girls parents. The Doctor wouldn’t put her down because she’d lost her shoes and the blonde hadn’t wanted her to hurt her feet. When they had finally found the girl’s parents the Doctor had cried. When Yaz asked her why she was crying she’d responded that she was happy and sometimes happiness made her eyes leak. 

The Doctor very rarely sat still, one of the only times was when she was reading. She liked to sit in front of the fire in the vast TARDIS library, with a blanket and she would sit completely still, except to turn the pages. This was one of Yaz’s favourite times to watch the Doctor and she would more often than not stop reading her own book just to look. She loved the way the older woman’s hair looked liked honey in the firelight and how she made herself seem impossibly small by tucking her feet in under her. The Time Lord’s face would remain expressive the whole time she read, reacting as she went on, sometimes smiling in amusement and sometimes schrunching her nose up in disagreement. She disagreed with books a lot. Often pointing out mistakes to Yaz as she found them. 

“Check this out Yaz, this says that in the 62nd Century the Lord of Kelanteen saved the whole planet from alien invasion, but it was actually me. The Lord was quite useless actually, just sat around being a little sook. I did everything. I don’t mind not getting credit, but come on, at least make it believable.” 

The Doctor hated people in power who didn’t take care of the people in their charge, or did nothing as those people got hurt and Yaz loved to watch the Doctor tell them off. The steely look she got in her eye, the way her voice lowered an octave. The Doctor got close to people when she was angry, close and quiet and even standing in front of the tallest of men, she looked ten feet tall. No one ever won an argument with the Doctor, not even Graham, even though he tried with all his might. 

It always amazed Yaz that the Doctor had seen and known so much pain, but always remained so hopeful. She saw aliens, humans and robots alike preform atrocities against their own races and other races that didn’t even know they existed and yet she was so hopeful, she was so kind and she was so merciful. Someone could kill someone the Doctor loved and yet she would remain merciful and talk of hope for the future. She was the strongest person Yaz had ever known, by a long shot. She had taught the brunette so much about having an open heart and an open mind, it felt like a debt that Yaz would never be able to repay. 

It was rare that the Doctor would hold onto a sadness, she would usually shake it off after a few moments, like water off a duck’s back. That’s why when Yaz found her in her bedroom, lying in her bed, gazing sadly at her star studded ceiling, she was immediately worried. 

“You okay Doctor?” She asked tentatively from the doorway. She wanted to be there for her girlfriend, but she didn’t want to intrude on a private moment. 

The Doctor turned her head towards the door, her sad contemplation immediately giving way as her face broke into a smile as bright as a sunbeam. 

“Yaz, my beautiful Yaz, I’m perfectly fine, no need to worry about me. I was just thinking about and missing another brilliant human I knew, my best friend, and missing her. Amy Pond her name was and you know what Amy would tell me right now? She’d tell me to stop moping about and wasting time when I could be enjoying spending time with my gorgeous girlfriend Yaz.” 

The Doctor bounded out of bed and threw on her coat. 

“So, where should we go today?” 

Yaz couldn’t help but smile at the older woman, who as usual was completely unaware of how messy her hair had become. 

“How do you do that Doctor? See so many sad things and still manage to be so happy. You love and lose so many people, but you’re still so open. You have more hope than anyone I’ve ever known and you have more reasons not to have hope than anyone.” 

“It’s pretty simple Yaz, what is the heart?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

The Doctor crosses the room quickly, placing her hand in the middle of her chest. 

“Your heart Yaz, it’s a muscle.” The Doctor said passionately, hazel eyes staring intensely into her own deep brown. “You make a muscle strong by using it. I have two hearts, that’s two muscles to get big and strong. The more I love Yaz, the stronger I get.” 

Yaz felt overwhelmed all of a sudden, her eyes filling with tears she didn’t want to let fall, the Doctor swimming in her vision, her eyebrows knitted together as she waited for Yaz’s response. 

“Don’t be sad for me Yasmin Khan, don’t you dare feel sorry for me. I’m the luckiest entity in this Universe, I get to travel around in this brilliant and complicated ship and meet all sorts of people and love them even if one day I’ll lose them. Sometimes I’m sad because I miss the people I’ve loved, sometimes I’m sad because it’s my fault that bad things have happened to them but then I remember how lucky I am in the grand scheme of things. How lucky I am to have even known some of the bravest and kindest beings to exist and I want you to remember that always.” 

Yaz smiled a watery smile at her girlfriend and grabbed her hand from where it was still placed on the middle of her chest. She pressed gently kisses on each of the Time Lord’s knuckles. 

“I’m not sad Doctor, I’m happy. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. You really are the best person I’ve ever known.” 

“You keep saying that Yaz but you know, I’m not technically a person ya know? I’m an alien.” 

Yaz laughed then, shaking her head in amusement. 

“Yes Doctor, I know, don’t worry, that’s not something I’m going to forget anytime soon.” 

She stepped into the space between her and the blonde, gently pushing her hair behind her left ear before sliding her hand down to the side of the Doctor’s face where she gently ran her thumb back and forth across the older woman’s cheek. It was only once the Doctor’s facial expression had completely smoothed out, all worry and sadness gone, that Yaz moved impossibly closer and brought their lips together in a soft but passionate kiss, trying to convey all the love she felt for this impossibly magnificent woman with this one kiss. In that moment all that existed was the Doctor, as she felt the older woman bring her arms gently around her waist, letting herself be taken away by Yaz’s touch. 

Yaz knew that despite what the Doctor thought, Yaz herself was the luckiest being in the Universe, because she got to do this, because she got to observe the Doctor every day and because she got to learn beautiful lessons. 

The Doctor had so many reasons to be mad at the world, at the Universe, but she still managed to see the joy and wonder in it and Yaz couldn’t wait to keep experiencing it right by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if this is any good. Feel slightly like I’ve lost my mojo. Let me know what you think.


End file.
